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Five Ways To Ruin Your Significant Other’s Valentine’s Day
Last year, I wrote about Valentine’s Day not being the complete worst. This year, I will tell you how to destroy it. I’m so punk rock. Basically the Avril Lavigne of the Internet. Anal Sex Everyone...
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Things worth giving up for Lent
Readers, I have some sobering news for those of you going without alcohol for 40 days: Lent is upon us. I hope you got in your fair share of mild revelry at your local bar, because the next 6 weeks are...
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The Worst Generation
Gawker, your generation’s NPR, recently highlighted a study discussing the habits of the Millennial generation. In short, they are the worst. Sure, there’s scientists and science and scientific...
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Who Would Make the Most Entertaining Dark Horse Republican Candidate?
While Mitt Romney is still far and away the likeliest Republican nominee for the 2012 election, he’s got one major negative that worries both the media and the Republican party: he’s boring. There’s...
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Five Foods That Prove That America Has Given Up as a World Power
You probably thought there would be some kind of dramatic event that would take the U.S. down as a superpower. World war. Greece-level financial implosion. Zombie apocalypse brought on by flawed...
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Five Words You Use That Tell People Everything About You
As a long-time observer of people, I am constantly trying to identify how much I can tell about a person given the least amount of information. A few months ago, Ripp wrote about what you could...
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The Five Worst Things the First World Has Created
As society has evolved, we have gradually developed ways to meet our most basic needs. As we do, we create new needs in order to employ the many millions of people who are now no longer needed to...
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Republican National Convention Drinking Game
Can you guys believe that the presidential election technically starts this week? Doesn’t it feel like it has been going on forever? And there are still months more of this? Does anyone else need a...
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Top 20 Rap Songs of 2012
You know what’s cool about rap music? Everything. Everything is cool about it. It’s the sounds of the streets made from the hearts of the underclass! It’s all so inspiring so I present to you the best...
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Five Things Gay Marriage Is Not (Alternate Title: I cannot believe we’re...
Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. Today, a day in 2013, when we have 3D printers and Higgs boson particles and our phones are basically computers, people are still suggesting that allowing gay adults to...
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